Cooking My Way Back

It's been a few weeks since I've written here, and there's a reason for that. Sometimes Sjogren's decides to remind you who's really in charge, and then a cold joins the party for good measure. Between the fatigue flares and congestion that made everything taste like cardboard, writing about food felt... well, impossible.

But here's what I learned during those quiet weeks: even when I couldn't do much, even when my energy was running on fumes, cooking became my way back to feeling like myself again.

There's something about the ritual of making food from scratch that doesn't require you to feel 100%. The muscle memory of kneading dough, the satisfaction of watching jam set, the simple act of creating something nourishing - it all felt like a gentle way to care for myself when everything else felt hard.

So instead of trying to explain where I've been because honestly, some weeks are just about survival, I thought I'd share what's been happening in my kitchen. These aren't perfectly photographed meals (actually I don’t think I took any photos) or carefully tested recipes, instead they're the real, imperfect, "this is what getting through looks like" kind of cooking.

Enchilada Sauce Without Tomatoes

When your Sjogren's symptoms are flaring, sometimes tomatoes become the enemy. Personally, I’m allergic to tomatoes, but I finally found a recipe I could adapt and make it work without tomatoes. I love love love enchiladas made with black beans. Enchiladas are an ultimate comfort food. So I figured out how to use different spices like ancho chile powder, smoked paprika, cumin, garlic, onion, and salt. It's smoky, rich, and gentle enough for sensitive days. Plus, it freezes beautifully for future low-energy dinners.

Rhubarb Jam (No Refined Sugar)

I spotted fresh rhubarb at Trader Joe's and jumped on the opportunity. I even remarked to the cashier that I had never seen TJ’s have rhubarb before there. It’s not something I get to cook with or play with often, but when I see it on a menu, I always try to order it. There’s something about that tart brightness that calls to me, kind of like yuzu or passionfruit. I sweetened it with maple sugar and brightened it with lemon juice and lemon skin (which helps the pectin level). The result? A jam that tastes like spring in a jar, and gentle enough that it didn't aggravate my dry mouth.

And let me tell you, this jam slathered on those strawberry muffins I made? Pure magic. Strawberry and rhubarb are a match made in heaven for a reason.

The Loopy Whisk Gluten-Free Sandwich Bread

Can we talk about how having good bread changes everything? This recipe has become my go-to because it's reliable, freezes well, and makes the kind of toast that can turn a difficult morning around. But here's what makes it truly special: it’s a gluten free bread that stays soft and fluffy on day one, day two, day three - you don't even have to toast it to enjoy it! By the end of day three, I slice up the rest and freeze the slices so I can pull out what I need to defrost. If I wrap it up and reheat it in the oven, it tastes fresh baked again.

This has become a staple in my household. Honestly, I probably bake a loaf a week. Because when I feel really lousy, a grilled cheese sandwich or a cheese sandwich with mustard and mayo is the perfect remedy. And having bread this good makes all the difference.

DIY Vegan Egg Powder and Baking Powder

It was a pantry restock time, which can be annoying truthfully. Sometimes making your own staples isn't about being fancy. When you know exactly what's in your food, when you've made it yourself, there's less worry about ingredients that might not agree with you. Plus, there's something deeply satisfying about creating pantry basics from scratch.

Strawberry Muffins

Photo by Jacek Dylag

Another win from The Loopy Whisk. When you're not feeling great, sometimes you need something that tastes like a hug. These muffins, studded with sweet strawberries, were just what I needed. Plus, the rhubarb jam on the muffin was incredible.

Zucchini Ricotta Pasta

This started as a roasted zucchini and vegan ricotta filling for fried squash blossoms, but I made such a large batch that I decided to toss it with pasta instead. Sometimes the best meals happen when you pivot from your original plan. Simple, creamy, and somehow both light and satisfying. The ricotta made it feel indulgent without being heavy.

Photo by Edson Rosas

Crispy Potatoes in a Flash

My new favorite side dish trick: I cut potatoes into small to medium pieces, toss with oil and salt in my cast iron pan, and pop them in my air fry oven at 400 degrees for 15-25 minutes. When I wanted to reheat them for dinnertime and the oven was occupied, I just reheated them on the stove and they crisped right up again. So delicious and basically impossible to mess up.

GF Focaccia with Castelvetrano Olives, Asparagus, and Parmigiano-Reggiano

This was my "feeling slightly more human" project. When you have the energy for something that takes a bit more effort, gluten free focaccia from The Loopy Whisk is incredibly forgiving. The olives added that perfect salty note, the asparagus brought spring to the table, and the Parmigiano Reggiano made everything feel special.

What I Learned in the Quiet

Here's what those weeks taught me: you don't have to be at your best to create something good. Some of my most satisfying cooking happened when I was definitely not at 100%. There's no rule that says you need to feel perfectly healthy to make perfectly nourishing food.

The jam happened because I spotted rhubarb at Trader Joe's, not because I was feeling ambitious. The bread gets made because I haven't bought store-bought gluten-free bread in six or seven years — it's not worth it when homemade is so much better and actually quite easy. The focaccia came together because I needed a project that felt creative but not overwhelming. Sometimes romanticizing mealtime makes all the difference in your mood.

Taking care of yourself may look like elaborate meal prep and perfectly organized kitchens, while other times, it looks like making jam in your pajamas because the fruit won't wait for you to feel better.

Moving Forward

I'm feeling more like myself again (though still taking it slow), and I'm grateful for the reminder that cooking doesn't have to be performance. It can just be care - for yourself, for the people you feed, for the simple pleasure of creating something with your hands.

The enchilada sauce is in my freezer, ready for the next time I need comfort food. The jam is brightening my morning toast and muffins. And that focaccia recipe? It's definitely going into regular rotation. It was perfect for dipping into olive oil or making a sandwich out of.

Thanks for your patience during the quiet weeks. Sometimes the best writing comes from the spaces between the words, and sometimes the best cooking comes from the days when you're just trying to feel human again.

Coming up next: I'm working on sharing my easy go-to refined sugar-free jam method that works with any fruit, my super quick fruit cobbler, and my favorite granola recipe. Because if there's one thing these quiet weeks reinforced, it's the importance of having simple, reliable recipes you can count on, no matter what.

In the meantime, let me know in the comments what you’ve been noshing on recently.